October 9, 2010

Am finding "Incredible India" to be exasperating, frustrating, challenging and unbelievably debilitating mentally and emotionally.

The Taj, although a stunning sight to come upon once you reach the inner wall, was disappointing. All those lovely pictures you see of it with the fountains spouting water are only in the pictures. The grounds and side buildings are showing the ravages of time. It's really rather sad. It's amazing though that this extraordinary architectural feat has survived at all considering how neglected it had been until it was designated as a UNESCO World Heritage Site. One does wonder where all the funds it receives from UNESCO are going. Certainly very little to the maintenance of the buildings and enhancement of the lawns and gardens.

Cow reclining near entrance to Taj

I marveled at the brilliance of the design of the Taj and its exquisite symmetry. I was particularly enthralled that the four pillars that frame it are built to lean away from the tomb in the event of an earthquake.  But somehow the lack of flowing fountains and gardens took the edge off that “to die for” experience. Mind you, my state of mind might have contributed to my not being totally blown away by it.

I expected India to be dirty, smelly, chaotic and hard; it's ten times worse than I expected. The odor of raw sewage is pervasive and the filth is extreme and the dust is wreaking havoc on my sinuses.  Not to mention what an impact the sight of dead dogs on the road has and the smell of their rotting flesh that invades the nostrils and lingers there!

Rear view of Taj 

I had a complete meltdown today in the gardens that are across the river from the Taj where I went to watch the sun set. I can't even begin to describe how hard it has become to travel as a single woman in a country that does not respect woman. This is only one part of it.  Nothing ever is what one is told it is going to be and there is a lot of mental sleight of hand.

Of course the attitude towards women is cultural as is the culture of prevaricating and not quite telling the truth, which is so misleading.  It causes misunderstandings, not to mention frustration and disappointment. I'm struggling to get my head around all this. As I said to Shabbu, the tuk-tuk driver –who today was the "the last straw that broke the camel's back" which led to the meltdown–that what we perceive as untruthfulness is in their eyes, normal, their way of life, and a necessary modus operandi.

It is their means to survive and rise above the masses. No harm is meant. It's just the way things are done here. And of course it is understandable because competition for the tourist dollar is fierce. But, as in Vietnam, the tourist loses as their agenda takes priority over the tourists’ desires and needs. That is the hard part to deal with.

I'm not sure how I'm going to find my way clear on this. Or if it's even possible. But I really don't want to be ripped off, misled and be in a constant state of red alert. It is exhausting. And of course because I travel alone, there is no one to lean on or to help diffuse the turmoil in my head or to make me laugh at myself. Or simply make me laugh at the absurdity of the human condition.

The heat and dust and pollution only exacerbate everything. I've been told that at least the attitude towards women is better as one travels southwards. It has been very reassuring speaking to other travelers, especially women, who make the same comment about attitudes towards women without prompting from me. It is that palpable and is experienced from young to old. Two couples I spoke with yesterday said they would not return to India because it is so difficult traveling here.

I'm staying in a backpacker guesthouse in Agra and I must say again, Thailand leaves India in the dust in terms of value for money at guesthouses. I paid the same as I am paying here, around $10 per night, and the guesthouses I stayed in Thailand seem palatial in comparison!

I may just head south and skip Varanasi. I don't think I have the psychological strength right now to negotiate the Ghats on my own or to deal with India at its most raw. I am also exhausted because I cannot sleep because I am taking Malarone which causes disturbed sleeping patterns and vivid nightmarish dreams.  Am seriously thinking of not taking it anymore. I'm hoping since the rainy season is over, there won't be that many mosquitoes.

October 6, 2010

DELHI: ON BEING A LOUSY TOURIST

Or is it because I am disgruntled? From the point of view of touts, I would say I’m both. I not only don’t buy the guidebooks and postcards that are constantly thrust into my face, I don’t even glance at them. I also no longer even smile and say “no thank you.” I ignore all the touts and walk straight ahead. I don’t buy trinkets and/or souvenirs and I don’t buy clothes until absolutely forced to because something has given notice. And I don’t do tours. Which makes me wonder why on earth I let myself be persuaded yesterday to hire a car and driver to visit all the New Delhi sites I wanted to see in one day. What was I thinking?

The honest answer is I wimped out. I had intended to use the Hop On/Off bus to hit the highlights but then realized that the Lodhi Gardens and the Aksha Dham Temple were not on the buses' prescribed route not to mention that besides Lal Qila (the Red Fort) and Humayun’s Tomb, I wasn’t too interested in most of the other places listed. However, the thought of dealing with public transportation completely overwhelmed me! 

I went to the travel desk in the hotel and asked if they had a tour of sorts. Of course the only one on offer was a car with a driver.  Initially I said no, then I thought to hell with it as trying to do it on my own would have meant hassling with tuk-tuk drivers who are fierce negotiators and don't budge easily. Not to mention that all but one of the drivers I have had to deal with in the last two days must have been having bad hair days, as they’ve been consistently surly. No doubt the increased traffic congestion and enforced detours because of the Commonwealth Games are contributing factors to their wrathful dispositions.

I told Dinesh, who manned the travel desk, all the places I wanted to see and he said that could be arranged and I could have a driver from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. for $20.

I asked if it was possible to see all “my sights” in the space of seven hours as, looking at their location on the map, they literally were east, north, west and south of each other with only two in seemingly close proximity. I suggested that with the traffic it might be an impossible dream. “No problem,” I was assured again.

This common response to any question I now realize is given to ensure the sale. It is annoying because if he had told me it was unrealistic, I would have made a priority list instead of leaving it up to the driver to set the order in accordance with potential traffic congestion.

Even though I thought I had allowed ample time to meander around places like Lal Qila (the Red Fort) and Humayun’s Tomb, it still was not enough. Lal Qila is vast and fascinating. I found myself staring at the marble pedestal that once supported the bejeweled “Peacock Throne” that was robbed by the Turks and imagining the splendor of the court as described in my trusty India Handbook (Footprint). I found myself lolling in the pavilions and gardens contemplating life as it must have been lived in the court of Shah Jahan and his successor before the Turks sacked the fort in 1739. Who knew I had to factor in a vivid imagination. And that was only the beginning of the tour.

Lodhi Gardens

It quickly became evident my “must see” plan was decidedly ambitious. Not to mention that it seemed Mohan, the driver had his own hidden agenda that led him to dissuade me from visiting all of the sights. I settled on only visiting the Lodhi Gardens, which were a welcome and restful interlude after the heat and dust of Lal Qila and my next destination, Humayun’s Tomb. The gardens are lush with trees and flowers and beautifully maintained and the two tombs, although modest, imbue a mystical air among all the greenery.

As it happened, time did become a factor so I would have had to abandon half the sights anyway, but I quickly realized that on the way back from the parliamentary buildings, what Mohan’s hidden agenda was. He needed me to visit the “Cottage Industries Emporium” where jewelry, clothing, decorative objects and carpets were sold so he could get his commission. I told him I had no interest in purchasing anything and that I was tired and hot and wanted to return to the hotel. He totally ignored me and nonetheless drove me there. This happened all the time in Vietnam on the few occasions I was forced to take a bus or boat tour. All of a sudden we’d find ourselves at some huge factory outlet that had not been mentioned as part of the tour or the boat made an unscheduled stop along the river to watch a performance of martial art for which we had to pay, made me one very unhappy lady.

Especially as Mohan had also delayed our lunch break even though I’d told him I was very hungry.  Again he had a restaurant in mind where he could get a commission so insisted on taking me to a sight that was later on the list and not so important for me, so he could take me to “his” restaurant.

I feel churlish about being so disgruntled but after travelling for three months in SE Asia, I have no more patience with guides’ insistence on their agendas and commissions. In short, although I understand it increases their income, I am no longer sympathetic. Especially as I had told Dinesh I did not want any detours to any shops. “No problem,” was again the answer.

When we got there, I said I did not want to go in. Mohan then pleaded with me to look for five minutes so he could get his commission. I relented but informed him that it had infuriated me that he did not request this expedition upfront.

To give some legitimacy to my stopping in, I did look at some clothing items but it was quickly evident that they were of poor quality. I decided after looking at some jewelry, that enough was enough. And left.

Traveler's tip: If you're on a budget traveling in India, I would strongly advise negotiating with a taxi at the train station to take you around the city. I found out later that this could be done for half the price. Obviously because no commission has to be paid to the hotel.

I’m feeling a tad dispirited as am really struggling with the dismissive and almost disrespectful attitude of many of the men in the service industry­­–waiters, ticket sellers, guides and tuk-tuk and taxi drivers– towards women. I can’t yet assess whether my traveling alone and being middle-aged exacerbates their attitude. I am an anomaly I know. I have only been in Delhi three days and I have yet to see a European woman travelling alone.

It’s the first time in my travels that I have had to contend with this and it is very unpleasant. In Vietnam, they don’t like Western tourists. Period. No matter man or woman.  You’re a walking ATM machine and that’s that. As disagreeable as they could be, their attitude was somehow or other easier to bear because the attitude was not gender driven.

Interestingly, when on two occasions in Delhi I made my displeasure known, once when a member of the hotel staff was particularly rude and the other when I was given warm tea in a restaurant that I frequented, action was immediately taken. And amazingly, the attitude of the staff towards me changed. For the better! And remained consistently normal from then on. I must confess I am a bit puzzled by this.

October 5, 20010

DELHI: ARRIVAL

I could not have chosen a worse day, October 3, to arrive. Everything shut down in anticipation of the opening ceremony for the Commonwealth Games.

I mistakenly requested that the hotel have a driver pick me up. First mistake. 


Traveler's tip: There is a very efficient system outside the airport where one can purchase a ticket for a licensed taxi (250 rupees one way into the city) and the taxis are all lined up ready to go.

The driver did not show up at the airport for 45 minutes and then tried to tell me that he had been there all along! Fortunately, a lovely young woman, who was part of the Commonwealth Customer Games Customer Service team, and who had called the hotel from her cell phone on my behalf to ask where the driver was, told him in Hindi that he was not there as we both had trolled the barricades where people and drivers wait for exiting passengers three times at different intervals looking for someone holding a placard with my name on it. It was not until after the second call, he suddenly appeared.

That should've been a red flag of what was to come. It did flit through my mind that perhaps the first mistake was booking a room at this particular hotel. The next giveaway was the car. A battered jalopy that was more than a tad grubby and both gents, driver and front man, seemed rather aggrieved. Could not crack a smile out of either of them. I guess the placard bearing young gent was miffed that his lie had not stood up.

As for the hotel, it is the second worst hotel I've stayed in during my travels that began in Vietnam mid-June. The first being the Prince in Danang, Vietnam, about which I gave a scathing review on Trip Advisor.

My heart sank as I was led to my room. The passage and stairwell were grungy beyond belief. I saw the rags and the water that they used to clean the stairs and both were absolutely filthy. I would not have minded the state of the room so much if it had been $25, which I thought it to be, rather than $51. But once I realized I had misunderstood the price (because my pistons were not obviously all firing off at the same time when I did the currency conversion) I minded very much!  

The hotel room was horribly shabby, had a bucket shower, a fan that squeaked and squealed as it whirred around, no wifi nor ADSL, no hot water, no top sheet, no toilet paper, and walls that looked as if an army had trudged over them! And during the night on my trips to the bathroom, I killed three cockroaches as a family of them had obviously taken up residence as lots of baby ones made a run for it as soon as I switched the light on. All too fleet of foot for me to kill!

I took photos of the room, as I could not believe the hotel had the nerve to charge $51! Of course when I arrived I was so tired that even though I realized the room was seedy, I thought it tolerable because of thinking it was only $25! I got a nasty shock when I returned from supper and asked for the bill, as I wasn’t going to stay another night. I nearly fainted when I realized it was $51. I was so horrified I wanted to leave and not sleep the night but they still wanted to charge me the full amount! When I challenged the manager on the price he offered to bring it down to $40.

However, after my sleepless night--because of the fan, the razor thin mattress, not to mention the family of cockroaches and the room's grungy state--the next morning, I offered the manager $25 cash for the room as I said that was all it was worth. He insisted on $40. I then told the manager that I had taken photos of the room and that I was going to give it a negative review on Trip Advisor and I also showed him the dead cockroaches, which I had collected in a napkin. (Cockroaches don’t really faze me because of having lived in an old brownstone in New York for 20 years.) The manager, who obviously would have liked to throttle me, agreed to $35.

Not a great beginning to my travels in India!

However, during the afternoon of the day I arrived, I had checked out some other hotels in the backpacker neighborhood and found one down the road from the horrible one. The room is a huge improvement on the other, even though it is a tad claustrophobic, it is almost worth $35. Newer, cleaner and has a nice fat, comfortable mattress and clean sheets! (The sheets were so gray and wrinkled at the other hotel that I slept in my silk sleeping bag liner.) And so far no cockroaches. However, I have mosquitoes instead!

This hotel is an extravagance for me but on my earlier investigation of other hotels in the neighborhood, their prices were more or less similar and the rooms far more inferior. And I have wifi!  And a/c. And a kettle and Typhoo tea bags!

As for Delhi, it is all the things that everyone says it to be. Squalid, smelly, noisy, dusty and the traffic, both vehicular and human, is chaotic. I am so glad I went to Vietnam before coming here, as that was a good training ground for learning how to cross a road where the only rule is there is no rule.

The first two days I was frequently accosted by men trying to sell me something and/or who wanted to strike up a conversation to practice their English or seemed to want to accompany me on my errands. Fortunately, they do leave one alone after a very polite but a very firmly delivered request to be left alone! Today, for some reason no one came near me! I must have set up energetic barriers or I must’ve looked like a woman on a mission. Which I was. New Delhi Railway station.

The city thrives with life and I quite enjoy wending my way on the packed pavements and chaotic roads. I could do without the dust as it is bad news for my bronchial tubes and throat. But hope they'll survive another day or two here. I had intended to get out as quickly as possible but decided it would've been crazy to have come all this way and not see the sights so am staying on till October 7.

To my great delight today, when I went to the station to buy my ticket to Agra, I was told I get a 50% discount because I'm female and over 60! At last there is an advantage to being female and older. I find it really curious that men only get a 30% discount!